DEVASTATION
Moving back home wasn't anything I ever wanted.
But after enduring the worst,
Going home was the only answer.
Being back is everything I thought it would be...
Awful, isolating, a constant reminder of what I lost.
And the last thing I need--or want--is more reminders of my past,
Especially Bryant Wood.
GUILT
That's all I feel--all I can see when I look at Savannah Turner.
I want to hold her, feel her, love her,
And thank her for what's she given me.
But I can't show her the gratitude.
The relief.
The gift she's given me.
I won't.
It'll ruin everything.
A secret I must keep--a secret that could break her.
Shatter her.
Destroy her.
All over again.
Moving back home wasn't anything I ever wanted.
But after enduring the worst,
Going home was the only answer.
Being back is everything I thought it would be...
Awful, isolating, a constant reminder of what I lost.
And the last thing I need--or want--is more reminders of my past,
Especially Bryant Wood.
GUILT
That's all I feel--all I can see when I look at Savannah Turner.
I want to hold her, feel her, love her,
And thank her for what's she given me.
But I can't show her the gratitude.
The relief.
The gift she's given me.
I won't.
It'll ruin everything.
A secret I must keep--a secret that could break her.
Shatter her.
Destroy her.
All over again.
January 1, 2013
“You are my sunshine…”
Breathe Peyton.
“My only sunshine…”
Fight for mommy.
“You make me happy…”
Breathe baby girl.
“When skies are gray…”
You can do it Peyton.
“You’ll never know dear…”
Please. Please Peyton breathe on your own.
“How much I love you.”
Don’t you die on me baby girl.
“Please don’t take my sunshine away.”
Beep. Swoosh…..Beep. Swoosh…..Beep. Swoosh.
I sit here next to her hospital bed holding her little seventeen-month old lifeless fingers, so delicate, so small. I think about her first birthday and how adorable she was with cake all over her face, her tummy and in her hair. Peyton is the happiest little girl and so full of life.
Correction.
She was so full of life.
Susan Renee wants to live in a world where paint doesn’t smell, Hogwarts is open twenty-four/seven, and everything is covered in glitter. An indie romance author, Susan has written about everything from lawn mowers to thick colossal bottles of wine, and has won a Snuggle Buddy award for her nonfiction book, “The Hula Hoop Tester’s Guide to Jumping.” She lives in Ohio with her family and seven tiny donkeys. She’s a Pet Whispering major from OMGU with a Masters in medical care for inanimate objects (a la Doc McStuffins). Susan enjoys crab-walking through the Swiss Alps, drinking Muscle Milk, and doing the Care Bear stare with her closest friends.
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